God, listen! Listen to my prayer,
listen to the pain in my cries.
Don’t turn your back on me
just when I need you so desperately.
Pay attention! This is a cry for help!
And hurry- this can’t wait!
I’m wasting away to nothing,
I’m burning up with fever. (Psalm 102, MSG)
A little under two weeks ago I ws feeling pretty awesome. The kids were all settling into life with the new bubby well, I was feeling fit and healthy, I’d been for my first proper walk with 2 kids and the dog, the house was even clean… and then it all fell in a bit of a hole.
I woke up early on Saurday morning freezing cold, shivering, then half an hour later boiling hot. My old foe mastitis had returned to visit. But this time I was prepared, I had a prescription for antibiotics so Cam went off to the 24hr chemist at 3 in the morning and I started them straight away. They seemed to be working for the first 2 days then I started getting worse and worse. Despite doubling my dose of antibiotics, my temperature just kept rising and I felt awful!
After going to see my GP with a temperature of 40.3 and having a bit of a bawl about not being able to survive another night, I got readmitted to hospital for some IV antibiotics. It wasn’t the greastest experience in the world – my silly veins wouldn’t cooperate and I had to have my IV put in 6 times. And the antibiotics still took ages to work, but three days later, I was able to come home.
Almost a week later, I still feel pretty shattered. The worst part is I’m scared it’s going to come back. I thought I’d done everything right and the stupid thing still nearly killed me. It’s been messing with my head – I’ve been feeling a bit hopeless and overwhelmed. It’s not for the lack of help and encouagement. I think last night was the first time we’ve made our own dinner for a few weeks – we’ve had so much help. And Cam’s mum came and took care of the kids while I was in hospital. And Cam’s work have been great and he’s had a fair few days off. And I’ve had my house cleaned for me and flowers given to me and virtual meals sent from Mozambique! But I still feel a bit sore and sorry for myself 🙂
But that’s enough of whingeing… today I am determined to get on with it and do the best I can and deal with whatever comes if/when it happens. All in the knowledge that I have the bestest friends and family in the whole wide world behind me!
What am I going to do without you? And I hear malaria is worse…